did_you_poop

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:51:13 GMT

I want to write a book, not necessarily about me, but about thought. Actually, maybe I should take note of all these topics I want to write about, because in the moment I experience them, I just get this natural high, and I want to ONLY feel, in that moment. Only THAT matters then and there. He's right; live IN the moment, and you will live happier. Of course that can be argued, but when that moment is happening, nothing can be argued, because nothing truly matters. Smiles occur when you're distracted, so why not be distracted everyday with something new? Why not escape reality, not temporarily, but make the temporary feeling permanent? How? Live the day, not the life. Life will most likely always exist, but you won't. So celebrate what is present, and regret not.

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:28:37 GMT

Into the Wild is out!!

ahhhhh!!!!

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:32:25 GMT

out of sight, out of mind.

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 10:16:05 GMT

dear wisdom teeth,
i treated you like one of my own, not an outsider who just grew in at the age of 19. so what do i get in return? you're rebelling pain antics and constant escape of my mouth. Well, now that you're gone and can cause me no more pain, the day I get better I'm pretty much gonna party my ass and motherfuckin mouth off.
Love,
Nicole.
P.S.-O food how I miss keeping you down.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:43:40 GMT

I love how people forget so quickly. how they try to play it off as it was nothing, maybe it was nothing the whole time, and i just saw it as something because that's what i wanted. i shrug a lot. because that's all i can do...that's all i can say to how i feel and how i react. tomorrow is depression meeting. do i go? if i do, i might be in for a treat, but do i need it? or do i jus think i do because i made myself believe that there is no one else who will listen or understand or be willing to want to listen and understand. knocking is heard outside my house. sometimes i wish it was for me. i'm always lonely, even in company. because i live in my mind, not here with the rest of the world. they might live by living through others; i live by living through myself, never healthy. seeing people only frustrates me. i want to know them. i'm always curious as to how they are. how they work.how they want to be.in hopes of finding the perfect friend or more for myself.

life is lonely in my head, but it's hard to change they way you live; it's hard to be happy when you know nothing more then what is around you. especially when you do not explore, maybe it's not by choice sometimes, but most of the time people chose to stay where they know because they can perfect their living status...or so they think.
i want to find the happiness most people find. even if they fool or con themselves into it. i want to be blissfully oblivious, too.

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:54:42 GMT

i want to move somewhere, where all kids do is smile and enjoy the lives they're meant to live. i want to be someone everyone looks upon, and when my name is called, everyone smiles and shakes their heads from the good times and memories we had. i want to breathe in so deep and feel a sign of relief. i want to hear the violin and piano playing in the background of my life...

i wish my life was a movie sometmes.

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 18:28:50 GMT

lj's boring.

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 04:57:47 GMT

it's my birthday.

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 06:42:34 GMT

Just got back from the shore.
it was pretty awesome.

nothing too new.single again (go fig)
kind of seeingmy boss' son?
wtf?!

he's way to sweet nice and friendly though.so we'll see what happens there, but seriously people...don't judge me..i'm young i'm allowed to date around...who cares...i'm 18 not 28..i'm having fun.

but...i do like this one, WE'LL SEEE!...just like always.haha<3
: )

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:29:52 GMT

new beginnings, very sooon.

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 02:48:42 GMT

i'm so sick of kissing ass and trying to get people to stay friends with me, or like...care what those people think.

don't like the way i am or the way i act or anything about me...FUCK YOU.
..seriously that simple.
I'm annoyed that i noticed how i spend all my time trying to impress mostly everyone and i can't just relax because i feel like i have to show that i'm worth being friends with.well honestly...fuck that shit. kiss my lovin ass bitches.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:59:43 GMT

you wouldn't understand how happy i am.
complete and utter bliss.

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:55:42 GMT

You guys, I got into Holy Family University. I GOT IN! I do not think you understand, or can even begin to comprehend the amount of pressure and humiliation that has been lifted off my shoulders. I graduated from a college prep school, and went to community, which blows the big one. I learned nothing, and taught myself everything. Teachers? useless. Students? no comment. I am glad to be out of there and onto a better path with better people and opportunities.

I will not take this for granted; I will study; I will pass; I will be what I want to be.
I am going to make my dreams come true for me; I deserve it.

HFU&hearts;

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 04:19:44 GMT

how does one make life unpredictable?

Mon, 21 May 2007 04:18:22 GMT

HI, I'm mature now. I have a job, which means I make money. I am going to Holy Family, which means I have a future. I am seeing this amazing boy, which means I found a wonderful boy. I got a new tower for my computer, because my old one was making 'hurricane noises' as my mother put it...which makes no sense, but hey...who cares! I am so calm, and at the sametime so stressed. I think for myself, not that i never did, just that i came to the realzation...that I do. My boobs grew, which automatically means i'm an adult now, for all you late bloomers; there's hope.

I am inlove with my job, pretty much getting paid to do what I love, playing with kids[fuck yes]. I am just enjoying my first summer with no school, mmm i can taste the sun now. No, wait I can;t I have work from 8-6 everyday, BUT i DO have the weekends off, which means...I need tobe out in the sun to no end to actually catch some rays and hopefully some pigment...I don't really have much to say, but I kind of do wish I could have lunch with random people. I want to do lunch, now.Make plans. :)

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:11:56 GMT

o me, o my.haha.this is....ooooooooooooooooooooooi vey!

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 02:50:21 GMT

being single just doesn't work for me. i'm back.hi.yeah i know 'great...her and her boy problems' this one cut fuckin deeper then..jim.i mean dude..this guy was EXACTLY what i've dreamed of...he made me wantt o get up in the morning.smile when i thought of him.sending my compliments just because.and he was just so sweet.then..he just literally cut all contact with me 8 days ago.out of fucking no where.i seriously mean out of no where. got me to think well what did i do...what did i say? boys are incredibly cruel.hurtful.liars. and they wonder why i don't let my gaurd down.because this always happens.always.i only knew him for 2months, but it wasn't just anyone and ugh.i wish i was cold hearted.

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 04:34:47 GMT

O!MY!GOSH! people have to stop being fake.for real.i am SO FUCKING SICK OF IT.

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 02:29:35 GMT

damn he's so good to me.

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 22:22:38 GMT

why do i give up so much?
i...i hate my life right now.

i hate everyone.

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 00:28:19 GMT

everytime i think i feel like a mountain of bricks is falling on top of me. my thoughts are cluttered big and small...broken and fixed. i know only what i want not what i need. i need to vent, but i won't because it's as pathetic as they come. i feel like duck taping my brain shut so it will not speak to me anymore about my feelings or thoughts or opinions...sometimes things are really better left unsaid, but who listens...not my brain..not my heart...shit.

yeah i had to spill it out otherwise...i'd think about this all night.

seeing through me
you spot another
i smile
as do you

but not at me
but at the other
my heart looses its color
shrivles up and falls to the ground

something roles towards you
but you pay no attention and kick it away
my heart is nothing but a wortheless rock on the ground
i am now a walking spirit with the heart of a rock.

woah i feel better haha.no lie.writing is my anti-drug

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 03:26:06 GMT

: ]

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 23:25:04 GMT

jaskdhklajsdhk DATE[hangout] TUESDAY.

happy like a little school girl.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:47:38 GMT

loss of words
caught up in my thoughts
reminissing about people i lost
waiting for the future to come
hoping it won't speed by too fast
noticing that one day i'll be just a memory.if that.

loving the feeling that i can handle him and no one else has the patience.
it hurts sometimes, but i'm glad we're slowly getting closer.
he makes me smile...a lot.
talking to him right now gives me butterflies

school starts soon.
i was so thrileld that my summer courses were going to be over, but..it's only the beginning.
o well.
getting my haircut.getting a more new me..everyday

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 21:14:57 GMT

BREATH OF FRESH AIR!

ahhh i love love love friends.no lie.sometimes...they amaze me.
..like....Ron-great man
Andrew-my love and just hilarious
MattPitts-completes me.
...haha that spells ram.but yeah.they're amazing.

BREN HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
**to bren**
see..yesterday I had a grad party and I was going to make everyone hold a sign saying I LOVE BREN AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY...but...I couldn't...then I was like BREN MUST HATE ME...but I I LOVE YA SON!HAPPY 16TH(belated)